I was at the doctors this morning, more as a backup than anything else. I mean, what can a doctor do in the ten minutes allotted to me? She was 45 minutes late, to start with. So I came in, said I wanted a referral to a psych and that I was working on getting some help in and out of the house. She helped me out with that and then asked me if I could explain just a bit of what was going on. So I started talking, and before I knew it I was choked up and had tears in my eyes. She was quietly sympathetic (somehow, that seems to work with me!).

Then we looked at my referral, at how to “label” it. And she and I agreed that depression and looming burnout were appropriate labels. But then she also mentioned grief. Not specific grief after the loss of a person or a job but more generalized grief. And you know what, she’s right. I do have an enormous sense of loss and instead of allowing it to be, and working through it, I get up and fight it and feel guilty.

So I guess a doctor is capable of helping me out, even in the ten minutes afforded me.
I hope the shrink that I do end up going to will be able to get to the root of the issue as quick as my boss and my doctor did!


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